Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The "Wonder" of It All

As motherhood approaches more quickly than I care to accept, I find myself wondering many things, in no particular order. I wonder....
  • if I'm going to go into labor any second now.
  • if I'll be able to get through labor and delivery without swearing like a sailor.
  • if I am going to rip stem to stern and need to sit on a pillow for the next month.
  • how my sweet hubby Paul is going to handle seeing me in the throes of labor.
  • if my parents will arrive (yes, thank God, they're coming on Thursday) in time.
  • how my sweet pets (3 cats & a dog) are going to handle the big homecoming.
  • what on earth this baby will look like.
  • how much she is going to weigh, and exactly what is that going to do to me.
  • if I'm ever going to sleep again.
  • how I'll emotionally respond to someone being so completely dependent on me for EVERYTHING.
  • what kinds of grandparents my parents are going to be.
  • if this baby is going to like me.
  • what kind of personality she'll have.
  • how on earth I'll deal with working after having a baby - even though I'm blessed to work only part-time and mostly from home.
  • if I'll be able to breastfeed.
  • if I have all the gear I'm really going to need to make this work.
  • if I have the emotional maturity and stability I'm going to need to make this work.
  • how this is going to change my relationship with Paul.
  • if I'll ever want sex again.
  • if I'll want any other children after going through this.
  • how many diapers I'll go through in a day, and if I have enough in stock for the first month or two.
  • if this is going to change my relationship with my friends.
  • if ANYTHING is ever going to seem the same.
  • if I'm going to be even the least little bit sorry I've been praying for a baby for 4 1/2 years.

I know, pretty blatant and honest, huh? Well, if you can't be honest with your blog-reading friends, who CAN you be honest with?


Martha said...

ALL.. very real!! Yep... it WILL change everything but your love for her will rock your world. It will all happen exactly how God intends. It won't be roses I can gurantee that.. in fact the first 6 weeks (and maybe more) you will seriously think you WERE crazy for 4.5 years! BUT.. know it GETS better!!!!! LOADS better.

As for sleep.. well since it's 3:29am here at the moment and my almost 3 year old STILL gets up 2+ times a night, I am soooo not the one to talk to! LOL

Jackie said...

I really think waiting for everything to get started is the hardest. It was for me, anyway.

If you swear a little, it's OK.

You will think your daughter is the most beautiful person you've ever seen. Even if she is red, wrinkly and cone-headed.

The emotions are a very rough rollercoaster ride, but just hang on, it evens out-I promise!

I'd estimate 7-8 diapers a day. Roughly.

In many ways, having a child has made my marriage stronger. Seeing Kenneth be a good father makes me fall in love with him all over again. And gives me a reminder that I did, indeed, marry a wonderful man. I think the same will be true for you.

Nothing in your life will ever be the same. It will be so very much better. You'll probably wonder how you ever imagined yourself happy and complete before.

I'm still not sure about child number 2. That's the least of your worries!

You will do great!!!

Amanda Sue said...


praying for you! :)