30 days

I can't believe I did it. Funny, the things I stick with vs. the things I don't.

NaBloPoMo rocks!

Signing

My tiny sweet daughter has been sick for...um...ever (4 weeks) so today I took her back to the doctor. Actually we see this great nurse practitioner in a local clinic. We came home with stronger antibiotics and cough syrup with codiene (yes, sleep will now begin).

At the clinic, the LPN, doctor and staff all marvelled that my daughter communicates using sign language. She knows about 10-12 signs and uses most of them on her own without prompting. I admit that at times I have taken this communication skill for granted.

We came home, I gave her some of her medicine, and let her play while it "took". After a while, I looked at her and said, "Jadyn, do you want to go night-night?" And you know what she did? She signed, "Please."

Good Lord, I love that kid.

Dumbstruck

This may sound strange, but there are these moments in my life when suddenly the realization that I'm a mother hits me with the force of a freight train. I'm minding my own business, picking up toys or filling a sippy cup or ordering a Happy Meal with a toddler toy, and WHAMMO. In the blink of an eye I'm reeling from the dizzying notion that this little person will spend the next several years looking to ME for answers. I can't believe that someone as clueless as I am could actually be responsible for the health and wellbeing (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) of this tiny little wonder. This blond, blue eyed angel who runs toward me with abandon, giving me a great big smile while hugging me and patting me on the back. I think she picked this up from me. I tend to pat her back when she needs comforted.

Maybe she understands my cluelessness after all, and is just trying to comfort me through it.

Step Into Christmas

Tonight was our town's annual Christmas parade, complete with marching bands of varying qualities, carloads of dolled-up cheerleaders brandishing sparkly pompoms, fire trucks making very loud noises, floats decorated in the "Christmas Around the World" theme, and marching packs of children from all sorts of local organizations. Paul, Jadyn and I watched from the sidewalk in front of his office, accompanied by folks from our church. Jadyn was happily being passed back and forth from person to person. She marvelled at the lights, boogied to the music and learned how to wave her best toddler-style Miss America wave back at the "Miss Whoevers".

I love small-town life.

The Most Wonderful Time

We yanked out all the Christmas decorations yesterday. No, we still haven't set any out. In my strange little world, you can't decorate a house until it's clean. And since my world has been crazy lately, I took today's decorating time to actually clean up. Maybe I'll get the pretty stuff out tomorrow during Jadyn's nap....unless I take one too.

Maybe the stuff will be up next week...we'll see.

Less than a week

This NaBloPoMo thing is wearing on me. I haven't put much thought into my requisite post of the day. Sorry, I know that's lame.

So we went to Wal-Mart this evening. It was much as I expected, with the exception of toys being placed for sale on the endcaps of the grocery aisles. Wow, are they ever pushing the kid stuff! I'm so glad Jadyn doesn't "get" it yet. I may be in for it next year.

Not-So-Black Friday

In a stroke of genius, Jadyn and I didn't leave the house today. After watching the evening news and seeing the absolute craziness that falls on humanity while entering retail stores at 4:30 AM, I am very glad we hung out at home all day. I'm fairly certain the one toy I really want for Jadyn will still be available later in the season. And if it's not, it isn't as if she'd know the difference. Heck, at this point she's wildly entertained by a cardboard box in our living room.

Sounds like a MasterCard commercial, doesn't it?!

Thankful

Today, I'm thankful for:

• My sweet hubby, who makes me laugh, makes me think, and keeps me real.
  
• My darling little girl, who dances and plays peek-a-boo like no one else.
• My friends, who like me for me while challenging me to grow.
• My parents, who have been supportive through all the craziness of my life.

I'm also thankful that there's a Thanksgiving potluck at our church so I don't have to cook the entire meal for just 3 people. All I have to do is bring one dish. Woo-hoo!

Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing, I encourage you to take a moment think about what you have to be thankful for.

What am I, crazy?

I went to the store on the Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. Yep, it was me and the 2000 other lunatics who aren't very good at reading a calendar and planning ahead. I hope this is not indicative of how I handle the rest of this holiday season.

Still working on being thankful

The clutch in Paul's truck went out today. I had a doctor appointment smack in the middle of Jadyn's nap time and I had to take her with me. My shoulder has been in pain all day - to the point that I can't pick Jadyn up.

It hasn't been an overwhelmingly wonderful day. But I'm thankful that we have a second vehicle, that I have health care and insurance, and that I have a daughter to pick up in the first place.

Off Road

I'm finally home - thankfully. Travelling alone with a toddler can be very exhausting. I'd post more, but I don't have much energy left.

Road Trip

Jadyn and I took a little overnight trip to Alabama. I just gotta say - Benadryl is a wonderful drug. The hard part is single-handedly keeping her out of everything that is not yet babyproofed. Kudos to all you single parents out there. I have no idea how you do it.

Cars

Ok, have you seen this movie? Oh my gosh! How could I have not seen this before now? Shoo-in for best animated picture, and Paul thinks maybe it should even be nominated for Best Picture.

If you haven't seen it, go rent it. NOW!

Girls' Night Out

I am so excited! We're having a girls' night on the town and I'm SO looking forward to this! Dinner, bowling, and I'm sure we'll have lots of laughs.

Tell me, when's the last time you got together with your circle of friends???

TiVo

Ah, what a wonderous invention. Since we got TiVo, about 2 weeks ago, we have often wondered aloud how we managed without such entertainment innovation.

As if watching TV shows whenever we want is actually a need.

But pausing and rewinding live TV really does come in handy when you miss a pivotal line in LOST because your toddler picked that moment to test out her vocal capacity.

NaBloPoMo halftime

I've made it to the halfway point. I can't believe I'm still doing it - posting every day. Crazy, the silly commitments I stick to and the serious ones I give up on. There must be some meaning to it.

One Word

Respond using only one word. Yeah, that's just SOOO natural a fit for me.

You can only type one word. No explanations.

1. Yourself:
becoming

2. Your significant other
grounded

3. Your hair?
shorter

4. Your mother:
cooking

5. Your Father:
gregarious

6. Your Favorite Item:
photos

7. Your dream last night:
forgettable

8. Your Favorite drink:
diet dr pepper

9. Your Dream Car:
infiniti

10. The room you are in:
smallish

11. Your Ex:
forgotten

12. Your fear:
rejection

13. What you want to be in 10 years:
healthy

14. Who you hung out with last night?
Jadyn

15. What You're Not?
thin

16. Muffins:
blueberry

17: One of Your Wish List Items:
ski-doo

18: Time:
short

19. The Last Thing You Did:
tivoed

20. What You Are Wearing:
leggings

21. Your Favorite Weather:
fall

22. Your Favorite Book:
Nicholas Sparks

23. The Last Thing You Ate:
chicken

24. Your Life:
cluttered

25. Your Mood:
calm

26. Your best friend (s):
challenging

27. What are you thinking about right now?
House

28. Your car:
minivan

29. What are you doing at the moment?
tv

30. Your summer:
humid

31. Your relationship status:
stable

32. What is on your tv?
House

33. What is the weather like?
chilly

34. When is the last time you laughed?
morning

Circle of Friends

Every girl needs a group of friends - folks who know her and like her anyway. We're having a gathering of the girl group this weekend, and I can't wait. We're celebrating Martha's birthday in style - with no kids.

Gotta love it.

RENT Review

Ok, I had no idea what to expect, but Rent was amazing!

When we got there, the stage was open. I looked at the set and was so confused because I couldn't figure out how all those scenes could be played on that one stage. And the band was on the stage with the cast in this little box!

Soon the cast came out, and WHAMMO, it was awesome! So many more numbers than were in the movie. The whole story was richer and fuller. Experiencing it live was 100x better than seeing it at home via DVD.

The part of Roger was played by a Brit, which was kind of different. Instead of an American rock god, he was more of an angry punk rocker. It was not what I was expecting and it took a while to adjust to it.

The cast was talented and it was obvious they were having fun while working hard.

I came away wanting to run away and join a theater troupe.

RENT

Paul and I are going to see a stage production of Rent tonight. I'm so excited! I loved the movie and the soundtrack. I hear it's tons better on stage. YAY!

LOST

Love it.

Poetry

Amazing, the thoughts that come flowing at you while you're driving.


To Let Me Out

The pain ebbs and flows
Like the tide but never goes away
All the way

I can’t get a grip, shut my lips,
My heart as touchy as
My fingertips

I’ve felt stuck in the muck and mire
And I’m tired of the fight to
Get my head right,
Understand who I am and who I’m not
And what’s what.

How ironic that I blame
The same One who
Came to free me from
Shame
So I could finally change.

I’ve got a choice,
Raise my voice
Give it up and then rejoice
Because if I let him, He
Can set me free
And let me see
Who He made me to be.

I now avow
To allow Him
To remove my sacred cow,
My right to hurt, to avert
The healing He wants to exert.

I must
Let Him in
To let me out.

Me, Myself and I

I saw this on Nova's Heart and thought I'd try it out. Since my last name is fairly common, I used my maiden name. Apparently, I'm in a class all by myself.

HowManyOfMe.com

There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I KNEW I was unique!

Recipe Request

Ok, Amanda Sue asked me for the recipe for the soup I mentioned in a previous post. So here goes:

THE Soup (We call it that because it's THAT special to us.)
1 can chicken broth
1 can beef broth
1 can Progresso Minestrone Soup
1 cup Acini de Pepe pasta or some other teeny tiny pasta
1 box frozen chopped spinach
1 lb ground beef
1 or 2 cups of already cooked chicken, cut into small pieces (I often use leftover made the day or two before)

First, roll ground beef into 1 inch meatballs and brown them. Don't forget to drain them.

Cook the pasta in the broths. (It adds flavor to the pasta, trust me.)

Combine all ingredients, stir, and put on medium heat till it's all hot. This feeds 6-8 big servings at least. It also freezes well.

I think I figured out

...how to start dealing with me - the real icky parts. At least, I may be close to knowing how to start. At the very least, I feel a renewed sense of hope that I won't always be the utter mess I seem to be now.

I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet.

Sometimes...

...I am way too emotional about the stupidest stuff. How am I supposed to be real when all that comes out when I'm trying to be real is crap? Is there anything real about me that isn't crap?

Drive

I'm at a church leadership conference at North Point near Atlanta. I can already say it is worth the effort to be here. The big thing I got from tonight's session was that I can't fill someone else's cup - all I can do is empty out my own of what I have to offer. Wow.

How do you know...

...if a friendship is over? When they stop talking to you all together? Or when they finally only talk to you in basic pleasantries? How do you know if it's worth fighting for? When there's a rift and you thought it was repaired, what do you do when the chasm seems to still exist? Addressing these questions has become the preoccupation of my thoughts and prayers lately. I'm just not sure how to proceed.

Something Completely Different

Our church has a potluck every month, and each month has a different theme. Typically I don't prepare anything because I'm not that good a cook. Usually we just give money instead. But this month, the theme is "Soups & Stews", and I just had to participate.

I've made "The Soup". This is a family favorite called THE soup because we have no better name for it. It's sort of based on Italian Wedding Soup. It's perfect for chilly weather and I love it because it fits this season so perfectly.

So now, I'm going to eat some. Yum.

Shaken, not Stirred

We got up early this morning, got everyone ready and headed out to the hospital. Despite our best efforts we were 5 minutes late.

I had more pictures taken of my insides before I was ushered to an outpatient room. I had to wear one of those mortifying gowns and these odd panty-hose with no toes. They stuck me with an IV and eventually wheeled me into a "holding" room before the procedure.

Eventually some doctor with good drugs put something in my IV and I was asleep on the table. I don't even remember falling asleep. I do, however, remember waking up and vomiting. Apparently my body doesn't like general anesthetics.

I finally became somewhat conscious while I was being wheeled back to my room. Paul had put Jadyn in a hospital crib so she could take a nap. Poor thing was konked out. Eventually they let me go, but not before proving I could "void" without problems.

All of this took about 4 1/2 hours. It felt like forever at some points. I'm tired and groggy and a bit bruised on the side, but all in all, I'll survive.

Sonic Boom

So, this kidney stone is large -8 mm. Too big to be passed. The solution, therefore, is to put me through some sort of sonic shaking procedure which should pulverize the thing so it can be passed with less pain.

All this from drinking too much milk. Apparently, it does not always do a body good.

A Stone's Throw Away

Ok, in honor of NaBloPoMo (see the button on the sidebar), I hereby enter my first post. Warning: TMI.

This month started off rather painfully. I awoke at 5 AM in terrible pain. It was reminiscent of labor on pitocin, but was just on my left side and went around to my back. After some groggy deliberation (and some getting sick) we decided to get everyone up and ready to go to the ER. Of course, the one in town is not in our insurance network so we had to drive 30 minutes away.

So I answered a bunch of questions (some more than once), gave up some bodily fluids and had a CAT scan. That was kind of like being put on a big table and being passed through the window of a laundromat dryer. Finally it was announced that I have a kidney stone. A large one, it would seem. So this afternoon I'm off to the urologist to find out more about the tiny rock rolling around inside me. Until then, it's lots of liquids and - get this - straining the liquid I produce to catch any bits potentially passed in the process.

If this is any indicator of what the month will be like, let's just skip to the Christmas Carols and get it over with.