Seasons Change

First of all, the camping trip went ...well... well, I suppose. Other than some marital communication snafus, we had fun. Jadyn seemed to have a great time. She slept as well as I could have expected and enjoyed the group during her wake time. All in all, I'm glad we did it.

So the temperature has finally dropped, the leaves are gradually fading from green to gold and red. I can smell it in the air, and I love it. Fall has always been my favorite season. Too bad we only get 2 or 3 weeks of it here in Just North of Hell, Mississippi. We're looking forward to taking Jadyn out trick or treating. Not that she can eat the candy or will bother to even get any, but how could I resist taking her out in her cute little costume. She's going to be a fairy princess, although I'm almost sure she won't wear her crown and she'll try to eat her wand. Ah well, cuteness is assured no matter what. I promise I'll post pics on her site.

Church Camp

This weekend a group of families from our church is going camping together at a local campground. I, in a possible moment of insanity, decided this was something we should do. We bought a tent and other necessary outdoorsy items. I packed them all up and loaded up the van.

Now, let me say at this point that the last time I was tent camping I was a teenager and my parents were the "in-charge, responsible" people. They knew what to do and they did it. That was 20 years ago and now I'm the parent. I'm the one who's supposed to know what to do and how to do it. I'm supposed to be in charge and responsible. How exactly did this happen!?!?

Anyway, this morning we (meaning Jadyn and I) headed off to the campsite to set up. Since it's local we could do it during the day and then come home and wait for Paul to get home from work. I knew setting up would be a challenge and I didn't want to have to do it in the dark.

If it weren't for the help of some sweet friends, I'd still be there trying to figure out how to put rod A into hole B. No, it wasn't really that difficult. After all, this is a brand new tent, not the kind from my parents' age of antiquities. But Jadyn wanted all sorts of attention (crazy, isn't it?) so some folks helped distract her while others put the tent up in lightening speed while I pulled out the rest of the gear and tried to get organized.

The others left, and suddenly I was on my own with a tired, hungry 13 month old at a partially assembled camp site. And as I managed the chaos, I realized I was actually managing the chaos! Jadyn was fussy but not a screaming banchee. I handled it! I was sort of stunned by my apparently latent ability to "be the mom". I fed Jadyn, we left the campsite in a state of relative order, and we got home for Jadyn's nap.

Maybe it sounds silly that I'm proud of myself for accomplishing something so minimal. But parenthood has shaken out of lot of the self-confidence I used to have. I'm fighting to get it back. And it looks like I'm winning.

8 Years

Happy Anniversary to us.

Tuesdays with Morrie

If you haven't read and/or seen it, do so. ASAP. Well worth the time.

A bit unrelatable

So, because over 500 years ago some guy landed on the wrong continent, I can't get mail or go to the bank. Strange, the things we Americans honor.

Start All Over Again

I was at a convention for MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) last weekend. It was impacting and life-altering on many levels. The amazing thing is that most of the life-altering stuff happened with the group of people I was with - some of my closest friends.

One of the speakers was Wess Stafford, of Compassion International. He shared his story which evoked and clarified some strong feelings with which I have struggled for a long time. I feel like I finally looked straight-on at the lies I was believing and saw them for what they were. I saw how they have influenced so many of my behaviors over the years. And most importantly, I really began to believe I can change.

Before I left, Paul bought the new Sara Groves CD "Add to the Beauty". When I got back, I popped it in the van's CD player and I have yet to take it out. My favorite song sums up a lot of where I'm at right now.

Just Showed Up

by Sara Groves and Joel Hanson

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Arrgggh, me mateys!

Happy "Talk Like a Pirate" Day!

Don't know how to talk like a pirate? Click HERE.

Toddler Mommy

So apparently I am no longer a "Baby Mama" - I am now a "Toddler Mama". Yes, my sweet tiny little baby girl is now a full-fledged toddler. She turned 1 on Sunday - see pics on her blog. She's eating solid food that she can pick up herself. She is signing some words and even saying a few. ("Dunck-Oo" is thank you, I think.) She takes several steps on her own. And, she's trying to climb things. I'm in trouble. Big BIG trouble.

I am frequently told how "easy" Jadyn is. And I suppose, compared to most, she is. But I'm already seeing how I'm going to be running crazy trying to keep up with her. She's very busy - into everything and curious about how things work. She loves life and seems to want to get all she can out of it. I'm thrilled about this - it's wonderful to see the world through the life of a child. The way she catches on to things is amazing. She knows to beat a drum with a stick, play her xylophone with a mallet, and mimics noises from her toys. Gosh, I love being a mommy.

My Name is Earl

Ok, I hate to admit it, but I love the TV show My Name is Earl. It's goofy and trailer-trashy, but there's always a good message in the end. If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend it. Just when you're about to pee yourself laughing, you may find yourself on the brink of tears. And just when your lower lip is about to quiver itself into a sob, you'll bust a gut again. Stupid brilliance. I love it.

Yard Sale Mania

So I'm doing a joint yard sale with 2 friends of mine. We're trying to raise money for our trip to the MOPS convention. It is absolutely stunning just how much junk I've accumulated that I can live without. And we've received tons of donations. It's even MORE amazing how much junk OTHER people have accumulated that they're willing to get rid of. As George Carlin says, our homes are sometimes just "places for our stuff".

Yankee Amanda Pills

	Yankee Amanda Pills: Will cause you to get a song stuck in your head for over a day
	'What effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com

35

So this is what it feels like to hit middle age. Wasn't it just last week I was 29?

WHHEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!!!

So, we're all moved in. Yeah, that was fun. I really want God to just strike me dead if I suggest moving again in the next 5 years. That is, unless Paul gets offered the most rockin' job ever and the company will not only pay for packers and movers but also the therapy that I will no doubt need.

In other news, our church's pastor left to take a job somewhere in Virginia, so we've had quite a lot of transition there. We still haven't figured it all out but I think it's sort of a good thing that we haven't. I mean, heck, if we could figure it all out on our own, what exactly would we need God for, anyway?

I have an 11 month old pre-toddler who is in the raging throes of teething. She was awake quite a bit in the wee hours of the morning, poor dear, crying her little eyes out. The cry sounded a lot like the baby version, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???" The morning nap didn't go much better. She's down now thanks to baby tylenol. I'm hoping she sleeps for hours but I'm also sort of a realist.

It's still hard dealing with the loss of our friends Chris and Leah and their kids. The other day Paul started a sentence by saying, "Now that Chris is dead..." and I stopped him before he could continue the thought because I just couldn't absorb it. Odd. It's been almost 2 months, and it's still a rather foreign concept.

I expect that I'll be back to posting on a more regular basis now. Thanks for your patience.

It's Gonna Be OK

Yes, I've been in a posting haitus. Moving can do that to a person.

So we finally got into the new house on Saturday. With the help of a great bunch of friend from church, we got in all the basics. Pros are moving our more fragile items this Friday. We still have lots of odds and ends and junk in the old house that has got to make it back in this house by the end of the month. I have NO idea where we're going with all this stuff because we're now in a smaller house. But somehow it is all going to be ok.

It's been a very rough couple of weeks. I feel like I'm finally on the upswing.

The Slowing of the Merry-Go-Round

It's getting better. We closed on both houses (the sale and the purchase) and I have some amazing friends in our small group who have stepped up and seriously helped me deal with this move. One friend just pops over anytime she has a spare 20 minutes and packs a few boxes. Another friend, her dad and her girls (who regularly watch Jadyn on Thursdays while I am at staff meeting) secretly packed my entire kitchen, took everything to the new house (got a key from my hubby) and put everything away. I was stunned when I got there today and saw all they had done.

Not that the craziness hasn't continued. On Tuesday my washing machine died. Kaputt. No chance of resurrection. So we need a new one. And we've discovered that the fridge we already own won't fit in the whole designated for it in the new house. So we need a new fridge. Ugh.

In the midst of all this, friends have brought over meals, done loads of our laundry, and offered much needed moral support. I'm very grateful.

Thank God, once again, for the Body of Christ. This is what it's all about.

I will be so glad....

...when this move is over and we can be all settled in our new house. This craziness is about to kill me.

Drama

I can't get into all of it, but it seems like right now there is so much drama surrounding my life and the life of my friends that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm living on the TNT channel.

Here at Chez Crazy...

...it just doesn't seem to stop. It's a long and winding story but the one sentence version is that we are now buying a different but (in most ways) better house. We close on the house we're selling AND the one we're buying all next week.

July promises to be a whirlwind month, and I'm just gonna hang on for dear life. Pray for sanity. Good thing that Jadyn is such a resilient kid, plays well independently and takes regular naps.

Oh, and about that thing I asked y'all to pray about a few weeks ago? Yeah, the answer was no. Hubby career stuff. Ya know.

Warning for the next month: posting may be sporatic and a little nonsensical at times.

Moving...

...is a pain in the arse. I hate wrapping dishes, collecting boxes, packing boxes, figuring out where to PUT said boxes. You'd think for having done this now 9 times in less than 8 years, I'd have this down to a science. But it is to the point that I just want to settle down somewhere.

The house we're buying isn't perfect, but the market where we live is so crazy that it's the best out there in our range. And it needs work. I think mentally I'm approaching it to an "I won't be there long" attitude, simply because we haven't stayed anywhere longer than a year since 2002. I'm going a little crazy. The idea of roots just feels so foreign that I can't really let it sink in.

I'm trying to readjust my thinking so that I can embrace the idea that we will be in this house a few years and we'll have time to do some great things with it. It's going to be a good place for Jadyn to grow in and a nice place to have friends gather for parties, small group functions, etc.

Being nomadic for so long has really messed with my head.

Loss Lessons

When you lose folks you care about it's hard to see anything positive. But the loss of my dear friends Chris & Leah and their sweet children Miller and Mallory has brought home two important lessons for my husband and I:

1. If you don't live near your family, make sure your local friends know how to get in touch with them. Our friends lived in AZ after having lived in TN for several years. We knew them from their days in AL. So when all this happened, people in AZ called people in TN and then people in TN called us to see if we could help remember the names of the family so they could be contacted. It was quite an ordeal. I'm sure it had never even occured to Chris and Leah to inform the folks out there of the names of their families. So we have decided to make a "who to contact" list and make sure that at least 3 friends have copies. No need to make a difficult time more stressful if we can do something to avoid it.

2. Don't wait for bad news get you back in contact with good friends. In an effort to find the family and then to spread the news, we talked to some folks we hadn't talked to in one or in some cases two years. We're grateful that we finally got to catch up, but we were sorry it took a situation like this to make it happen. Seriously, we live in the electronic age when it only takes a few moments to shoot a "hey, how ya been" email to someone. Are we really too busy for even just that?

3. Any time you talk to someone could be the last so make sure they know you care. We all know this in theory but the reality of it truly hits home when you have to look back and KNOW that the last conversation you had was all you got to say to them on this side.

4. It's different when you know them. So many times we hear these stories on the news and think, "Oh, how tragic" and then go about our business without another thought. But this time wasn't like that. We read the stories online and even watched video clips of the tv coverage. It's gut-wrenching when you had real-life experiences with the victims. We were in small group with this couple. We went to see them in the hospital after the birth of both their children. We helped them move twice. We went out to eat with them and played with their kids. We went to church and concerts with them. And now they're hanging out with Jesus, and we miss them.

It's true that "All things work together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28a) and I have to cling to that with blind faith in times like these when it's very tempting to believe that the Lord, who never slumbers or sleeps, may have blinked.