One of the speakers was Wess Stafford, of Compassion International. He shared his story which evoked and clarified some strong feelings with which I have struggled for a long time. I feel like I finally looked straight-on at the lies I was believing and saw them for what they were. I saw how they have influenced so many of my behaviors over the years. And most importantly, I really began to believe I can change.
Before I left, Paul bought the new Sara Groves CD "Add to the Beauty". When I got back, I popped it in the van's CD player and I have yet to take it out. My favorite song sums up a lot of where I'm at right now.
Just Showed Up
Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
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