It's one of those very uncomfortable times in my life when it feels like all my many flaws are not just being exposed but also magnified to the point where nothing else about me is visible to me or anyone else.
I'm trying to figure out if God is trying to bring things to my attention or if the enemy is trying to distract me or both. I want to change, to improve, to let God deal with me. I want to be obedient to His will and yield to His discipline. I recognize that everything God allows is for my ultimate good and His ultimate glory. I just want to discern what of this is a trial - a difficult situation not brought on by my disobedience - and what of this is, as my mentor calls it, is a "spanking".
Ultimately, I just want to know from God the truth of who I am and WHERE I am and where I need to be. And I want to be understood and accepted during the process.