It's Gonna Be OK

Yes, I've been in a posting haitus. Moving can do that to a person.

So we finally got into the new house on Saturday. With the help of a great bunch of friend from church, we got in all the basics. Pros are moving our more fragile items this Friday. We still have lots of odds and ends and junk in the old house that has got to make it back in this house by the end of the month. I have NO idea where we're going with all this stuff because we're now in a smaller house. But somehow it is all going to be ok.

It's been a very rough couple of weeks. I feel like I'm finally on the upswing.

The Slowing of the Merry-Go-Round

It's getting better. We closed on both houses (the sale and the purchase) and I have some amazing friends in our small group who have stepped up and seriously helped me deal with this move. One friend just pops over anytime she has a spare 20 minutes and packs a few boxes. Another friend, her dad and her girls (who regularly watch Jadyn on Thursdays while I am at staff meeting) secretly packed my entire kitchen, took everything to the new house (got a key from my hubby) and put everything away. I was stunned when I got there today and saw all they had done.

Not that the craziness hasn't continued. On Tuesday my washing machine died. Kaputt. No chance of resurrection. So we need a new one. And we've discovered that the fridge we already own won't fit in the whole designated for it in the new house. So we need a new fridge. Ugh.

In the midst of all this, friends have brought over meals, done loads of our laundry, and offered much needed moral support. I'm very grateful.

Thank God, once again, for the Body of Christ. This is what it's all about.

I will be so glad....

...when this move is over and we can be all settled in our new house. This craziness is about to kill me.

Drama

I can't get into all of it, but it seems like right now there is so much drama surrounding my life and the life of my friends that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm living on the TNT channel.

Here at Chez Crazy...

...it just doesn't seem to stop. It's a long and winding story but the one sentence version is that we are now buying a different but (in most ways) better house. We close on the house we're selling AND the one we're buying all next week.

July promises to be a whirlwind month, and I'm just gonna hang on for dear life. Pray for sanity. Good thing that Jadyn is such a resilient kid, plays well independently and takes regular naps.

Oh, and about that thing I asked y'all to pray about a few weeks ago? Yeah, the answer was no. Hubby career stuff. Ya know.

Warning for the next month: posting may be sporatic and a little nonsensical at times.

Moving...

...is a pain in the arse. I hate wrapping dishes, collecting boxes, packing boxes, figuring out where to PUT said boxes. You'd think for having done this now 9 times in less than 8 years, I'd have this down to a science. But it is to the point that I just want to settle down somewhere.

The house we're buying isn't perfect, but the market where we live is so crazy that it's the best out there in our range. And it needs work. I think mentally I'm approaching it to an "I won't be there long" attitude, simply because we haven't stayed anywhere longer than a year since 2002. I'm going a little crazy. The idea of roots just feels so foreign that I can't really let it sink in.

I'm trying to readjust my thinking so that I can embrace the idea that we will be in this house a few years and we'll have time to do some great things with it. It's going to be a good place for Jadyn to grow in and a nice place to have friends gather for parties, small group functions, etc.

Being nomadic for so long has really messed with my head.

Loss Lessons

When you lose folks you care about it's hard to see anything positive. But the loss of my dear friends Chris & Leah and their sweet children Miller and Mallory has brought home two important lessons for my husband and I:

1. If you don't live near your family, make sure your local friends know how to get in touch with them. Our friends lived in AZ after having lived in TN for several years. We knew them from their days in AL. So when all this happened, people in AZ called people in TN and then people in TN called us to see if we could help remember the names of the family so they could be contacted. It was quite an ordeal. I'm sure it had never even occured to Chris and Leah to inform the folks out there of the names of their families. So we have decided to make a "who to contact" list and make sure that at least 3 friends have copies. No need to make a difficult time more stressful if we can do something to avoid it.

2. Don't wait for bad news get you back in contact with good friends. In an effort to find the family and then to spread the news, we talked to some folks we hadn't talked to in one or in some cases two years. We're grateful that we finally got to catch up, but we were sorry it took a situation like this to make it happen. Seriously, we live in the electronic age when it only takes a few moments to shoot a "hey, how ya been" email to someone. Are we really too busy for even just that?

3. Any time you talk to someone could be the last so make sure they know you care. We all know this in theory but the reality of it truly hits home when you have to look back and KNOW that the last conversation you had was all you got to say to them on this side.

4. It's different when you know them. So many times we hear these stories on the news and think, "Oh, how tragic" and then go about our business without another thought. But this time wasn't like that. We read the stories online and even watched video clips of the tv coverage. It's gut-wrenching when you had real-life experiences with the victims. We were in small group with this couple. We went to see them in the hospital after the birth of both their children. We helped them move twice. We went out to eat with them and played with their kids. We went to church and concerts with them. And now they're hanging out with Jesus, and we miss them.

It's true that "All things work together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28a) and I have to cling to that with blind faith in times like these when it's very tempting to believe that the Lord, who never slumbers or sleeps, may have blinked.

One Glad Mourning

Our dear friends, Chris and Leah Walls, along with their young children Miller and Mallory, are before the Throne having the ultimate worship experience. They were taken in a car accident out in Arizona. We mourn them but we rejoice that they are with Jesus, which is the best place to be, and they are all together.

The story is here: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0617fatalcrash-ON.html
I warn you, it's not an easy read.

God, please hug them for me, and tell them I miss them.

Away, Away, Away

Ok, I know it's been ages since I posted. Please forgive me. I think I went crazy.

Actually, my 94 year old grandfather up in PA got pretty sick and we all thought this would be "it" so I packed up Jadyn and myself and got us on a flight up there. Actually, I drove 2.5 hours to a "nearby" airport, flew 2 hours, then drove from that airport about 3.5 hours to his house. Yes, it was an ordeal, and my darling girl spent a total of about 12 hours in her car seat in one day and was mostly content. What a trooper. Oh, and thank the good Lord above for Benadryl. And for helpful people at the airport. You should have seen me pushing Jadyn in her stroller with one hand and a cart full of luggage with the other.

So we were up there for a week. It was good to see the "old stomping grounds" (though I never stomped, so it's a bit of a misnomer), to hang out with a dear friend I've known over 20 years (how on earth did we get this old?) and to let Jadyn spend more quality time with her Oma and Opa. Most importantly, this is most likely the one and only time she'd get to meet her only great grandparent, my Poppop. We went several times to see him in the hospital, contrary to the advisings of friends who said "staph infections are rampant, don't do it". She didn't freak out. Not once. She smiled and laughed as he made silly noises at her. And I got the best picture I could have ever hoped for. She looks for all the world like she knows she's there to help him feel better.

She'll never remember this trip. We'll pull out this picture and tell her about it till she can recite it anecdotally, yet she won't have any personal memory of it. But I will. And I'm glad. All the expense, all the driving, all the worry about how she'd handle it, it was all worth it.

By the way, Poppop rallied (he's just too stubborn to give up) and so far is holding his own. And my reward for all of this? Jadyn finally said, "Mama." We were at the hospital in Poppop's room.

One more time, just ONE more time

Ok, first of all, this is not what y'all have been praying about. I may not be able to tell you about that for a few more weeks. In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt if you'd pray a little more.

Now, it was almost a year ago that we were given the "rock and hard spot" decision to either move or accept a pay cut. So at 9 months pregnant, we moved. Not enviable. We chose to rent a new residence and then rented out our house. Not ideal. The lease is up at the end of July and is not renewable on a month-to-month basis. Not optimum. The lease on our own house is not up until November. Not convenient.

But the tenants want to buy our house and are willing to get it done soon enough for us to purchase a house here with enough time to move by the end of our lease. Miraculous.

God help me, we're moving again - hopefully just ONE MORE TIME!

Now, pray we find a house in our price range that isn't in need of having it's chimney jacked up and a new house slid underneath.

If you think of us....

If you happen to think of us at all on Tuesday, please say a prayer. Life-altering stuff could happen on Tuesday. If you're not the praying type, well....what could it hurt to pray just this once?

I'll tell you why later. Not now. SSSssshhhhh!!!

Stupid Girls

I love reading Elizabeth at "Motherhood is Not for Wimps" because she's authentic and grounded yet has high ambitions. She really seems to capture the essence of mothering in all it's gut-wrenching reality. She recently posted a vignette (she calls them vinagrettes) about having "retold" some of the Disney princess stories to her daughtery Mary, without the emphasis on outward beauty. It made me laugh - it made me think.

Lots of people, friends and strangers, remark at how pretty Jadyn is. And I appreciate that. I just don't want that to be all she is. I don't want her so fooled into thinking that is her identity that she becomes completely lost without it. I want her to know herself and all the gorgeous things God built into her that have nothing to do with her external appearance.

I like the song "Stupid Girl" by Pink - not ALL the lyrics since some are a little raunchy - because she talks about not wanting to be like these vapid beauties who seem to be running rampant on our tvs. Here's just a little taste of the lyrics:

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they (mess) up my hair

My First* Mother's Day

*I was pregnant this time last year so technically that would be my first Mother's Day, but this was the first one with a baby that was extra-utero.

This was a day that was very long in coming. Many years I would dread going to church on Mother's Day, especially on those "special" years when the church did baby dedication on the same day. It got to the point where I would just walk out because I couldn't stand it. And my "friends", all of whom were fertile as the Nile Valley, never seemed to understand why it was so difficult. They looked at me with this pitiful expression, as if they were thinking how weak I was that I couldn't just "deal with it".

The church we attend now, where I work, decided to deal with Mother's Day differently this year. Based on an idea from one of our members, we had a panel discussion about motherhood. 4 of us moms with different backgrounds and in different stages of life all talked about our experiences and things we've learned. 2 of us, myself included, got to share about our struggles with infertility. It was a creative way to deal with a topic that can be either stale and boring (the classic Honor Your Mother sermon) or frustrating and painful (if your mother has died or if you are having trouble becoming one).

I'm really glad our church leadership was willing to step outside the norm and address this in such a unique and thought-provoking manner. And I was honored to be part of the panel. I was the "newbie" of the group - the first-time mom with the youngest baby. I was awed by the wisdom that came from the other mothers, and hopeful that maybe one little thing I had to say made a difference to someone. I'm mindful of those couples still dealing with the agony of infertility and how heart-wrenching days like today can be. More than anything, I'm so grateful for my sweet daughter Jadyn, and I pray that I can be worthy of being her mother.

More posts at....

Jadyn's Journey. Click now. NOW, I said!

On My Toes

Sometimes I think God likes to keep me on my toes by throwing things into my life - good things and more "challenging" things - that I just didn't expect. It's my guess that one of His motivations for this is to keep me going back to Him for guidance and strength.

Thursday Thirteen!




Thirteen Things aboutYankee Amanda's work history 1. My first job was working in an ice cream shop for a summer. I didn't like it. 2. I worked at a local outlet mall that sold women's lingerie and men's shirts. What a combo. 3. I was a busgirl at a restaurant. That's where I first discovered that I have crowd claustrophobia. I hate being enclosed by people with no easy way out. 4. I was a checker at our local grocery store. It was owned by Mennonites and all women had to wear skirts or dresses. I later worked in the meat department of that same store. Oddly enough, the meat department was owned by someone else, but also Mennonite, so I still had to wear a skirt. 5. During college I worked at a place that did telemarketing research - you know, call strangers up and ask them to do surveys. I hated it. 6. After my first term as a missionary I went to work in a wood shop building cabinet doors. I think this is the job that surprises people most. 7. When I went back to college I worked in another local grocery store in the - yes - meat department. The boss was crass and I didn't like it. 8. I got a job working in the college cafeteria working in the dishwashing area. Ick. That led to doing data entry for the catering department, which led to being a conference liaison for the summer conference program at the college. That was cool. 9. I got paid to design a website for a college program I was involved in - a mock European Union project. 10. I was an intern at the PA House of Representatives. It was during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, so I heard a lot of jokes. 11. The internship led me to my first post-college job, working as an lobbyist aid for the Sierra Club of PA. 12. I worked for the church I attended for over 2 years as a "ministry assistant". That's all I have to say about that. 13. My last job was as a bankruptcy clerk for a collections agency. Very eye-opening. I didn't really like it, but I met some nice people. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. poopydigs 2. geggie 3. guppyman 4. carmen 5. denise 6. carolyn 7. karen 8. present storm 9. moogie 10. undercover angel 11. angie 12. skittles




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Sleepblogging

Why is it that while laying in bed trying to fall asleep I can mentally compose a perfectly brilliant blog post, but when I sit at my computer the next day all I hear in my head is, "Uuhhh.....*cricket chirp*......"????

Great Expectations

Today was Paul's first day at his new job, and the boss took the staff (including 2 other new members) out to lunch. Not only was I invited, but they PAID for my lunch! Let me tell you, this is quite a difference from past experiences. And we had so much fun laughing and talking about movies and slang and all sorts of things. The whole atmosphere was so fresh and welcoming. Paul seems remarkably more at ease and generally happier. I'm looking forward to hearing how the day went for him.

Change is a good thing.

What Makes a Good Parent

This is an interesting point of view regarding what makes a good parent.

We were out tonight having a celebration dinner. We were celebrating Paul being free from his current job. Today was it - hurray! But I digress...

So we're sitting there at this restaurant with our sweet Jadyn sitting up in a high chair at the end of the table. (OH MY GOSH! She's sitting up in a restaurant high chair already!!!) As usual I had her dressed in a very cute outfit. Now, Jadyn will simply beam with smiles for anyone who so much as glances at her. Typically folks stop to talk to her because she's so pleasant and, frankly, so adorable.

Tonight there was no end to the attention she was getting. At one point this obviously upscale southern woman came by and immediately got sucked into the cuteness vortex that was emanating from my daughter. She made the comments we most often hear:
"What beautiful eyes!"
"She's so well-behaved."
"What a big smile!"
"What a cute outfit!"
Then she said something I have never heard before.
"I love it when parents dress their children well. You are good parents."

Hmm. So. Because I dress my child in clothes that a) are clean, b) match, and c) are reasonably in style, I must be a good parent. I may be the type of parent who sits her in front of the TV for 12 hours a day, feeding her nothing but pixie stix, but hey, she's dressed well so I'm obviously doing a good job. Maybe I let her play with scissors or ride in the car with her rolling around on the floorboards, but at least I put a bow in her hair that matches her onesie, so sign me up for Mother of the Year.

Tomorrow I'm going to strap her to our dog and let her ride him around the back yard. But she'll look adorable in her pink striped romper with her name embroidered on the front, so it's all good.

I heart Dooce.

I love reading Dooce - I know, I know, that in no way makes me special among the blogging community. And there are times I don't agree with her views on certain issues.

But this - well, I couldn't have said it better.

http://www.dooce.com/archives/nubbin/04_27_2006.html