My First* Mother's Day

*I was pregnant this time last year so technically that would be my first Mother's Day, but this was the first one with a baby that was extra-utero.

This was a day that was very long in coming. Many years I would dread going to church on Mother's Day, especially on those "special" years when the church did baby dedication on the same day. It got to the point where I would just walk out because I couldn't stand it. And my "friends", all of whom were fertile as the Nile Valley, never seemed to understand why it was so difficult. They looked at me with this pitiful expression, as if they were thinking how weak I was that I couldn't just "deal with it".

The church we attend now, where I work, decided to deal with Mother's Day differently this year. Based on an idea from one of our members, we had a panel discussion about motherhood. 4 of us moms with different backgrounds and in different stages of life all talked about our experiences and things we've learned. 2 of us, myself included, got to share about our struggles with infertility. It was a creative way to deal with a topic that can be either stale and boring (the classic Honor Your Mother sermon) or frustrating and painful (if your mother has died or if you are having trouble becoming one).

I'm really glad our church leadership was willing to step outside the norm and address this in such a unique and thought-provoking manner. And I was honored to be part of the panel. I was the "newbie" of the group - the first-time mom with the youngest baby. I was awed by the wisdom that came from the other mothers, and hopeful that maybe one little thing I had to say made a difference to someone. I'm mindful of those couples still dealing with the agony of infertility and how heart-wrenching days like today can be. More than anything, I'm so grateful for my sweet daughter Jadyn, and I pray that I can be worthy of being her mother.